Nursing Wounds
by c.mary.c
Summary: Winry faces an agonizing reality that neither she nor Ed could have seen coming. *8th companion to Perfect Blood* -Complete-
1. Chapter 1

What cannot be said

will be wept.

-Sappho

* * *

It was the longest three minutes of my life. Three minutes of pure torture as I sat, nervously bouncing my knee up and down and waited. I tried to focus on breathing -inhale, exhale, inhale again, and silently told myself to take this one step at a time. There was a chance I could be worrying for nothing. The timer on my phone chimed, signaling what I prayed would be the end of my suffering. There was a large possibility that reading the results would only be the beginning of my anguish. I gulped, held my breath, and looked at the stick in my hand.

Oh dammit. Oh _dammit._

It explained an awful lot. My never-ending hunger. My sleepless nights. My boobs getting bigger and more sensitive. Also the vomiting. My vision became smattered with large white splotches and I leaned over to hang my head between my knees and waited for the loud circus music in my head to stop. This was bad. Very very bad. Ed was gonna…

My stomach made a distressed gurgle and I sank myself from the couch to the floor and spread out flat on my belly, my cheek smushed into the rug and my fingers suddenly tingling as I huffed out air like a grumpy horse and pouted miserably. I'd missed a pill awhile back, and as precaution told Ed to wear a condom the next time we had sex. But a few nights later we went out for drinks with Al and Mei and stumbled home hammered and horny and without coherent thought, so in the nightstand drawer the raincoats remained. I was kicking myself for being so hungover that it took me until the following evening to get the morning after pill.

I didn't know if I wanted children. I thought kids were great, I enjoyed their bright happy smiles and hilarious lack of verbal filters, but my life was complicated and crazy and not something I was sure I wanted to bring a child into. Sure, there was a part of me that kind of liked entertaining the idea of motherhood, but there was an equal part of me that didn't know if I had the proper patience for children. There were plenty of examples of people in the world would shouldn't be parents, and I believed that just because you have working reproductive organs doesn't always mean you should use them. I believed that society had evolved past the stereotypical pattern of get married, move to suburbs, have babies. That wasn't to say that parenthood wasn't a beautiful, wonderful thing. To properly raise a human for this world is by far one of the hardest things anyone could do, I just wasn't sure it was for me. Yes, sometimes I got baby fever when I'd see those shining eyes and chubby cheeks out for a stroll with mommy or daddy, but that fever was sometimes squashed by toddlers throwing screaming tantrums and the faces of the exhausted parents who were working so hard to paint on a smile and try to make it through the frustration in a calm and reasonable manner, when in reality they might've secretly wanted to chuck their kid out a window.

These were the thoughts I'd contemplated since I was old enough to even think about motherhood, and I'd always found myself incredibly unsure of it all. I thought about being so young and losing both of my parents at once, how horrible it was and how fragile life was. The thought of leaving a child parentless was devastating, and I couldn't even begin to fathom how it would feel to be a parent and lose a child. It happened to people everyday. It was a possible hardship that I just wasn't sure I wanted to risk. It was an absolute truth that no matter how well adjusted a child becomes into adulthood, their parents would never ever stop constantly worrying. The idea of loving something so much and then having it running around in the world completely exposed to danger, I couldn't set myself up for that kind of constant worry. It was already hard enough constantly worrying when Edward was away on missions.

That was the bigger reason for the grueling dread I felt in my core. Edward was away. He'd been gone for two months, and he was coming home soon. I hadn't told him about my unusual behavior because it wasn't serious and there was no point in worrying him if he couldn't do anything about it. Now I was going to give him something to really freak the fuck out about, because Edward absolutely, positively, one million percent did not want kids. Ever. We'd had a few long conversations about it after the parade of mutual friends and their prodding questions began pouring in around the 2-year mark in our relationship, and it had only worsened since we'd begun planning a wedding. Edward didn't trust himself. His life was dangerous and scary, and for most of it he didn't believe he'd ever be normal. He never thought he'd be getting married, he never thought he'd find someone to fall in love with, there were several times when he thought he wouldn't live to see the next day wether it be by the enemy's hand or by his very own. Children hardly ever crossed his mind until he was sent to protect Shou Tucker and wound up adoring 4-year old Nina Tucker as though she were a little sister …or a daughter of his own. Her death solidified his decision to never reproduce because he'd considered himself ill-equipped to protect a child from his life, and the shakiness of his mental state was not the best thing to knowingly bring a baby into. That reasoning alone made it easy enough for me to get on board with not having children, because he and I were still a family. We would still lead full and happy lives because we were together, and it was easy to decide not to have children since I was undecided to begin with, and choosing not to be a parent meant you weren't making a commitment to anything.

I pulled myself to my feet and shuffled into the bathroom. I'd chugged a half-gallon of water and taken three tests just to be sure, and there was something about peeing on plastic sticks that made me instantly crave a shower. As I stripped of my clothes and turned on the shower to begin heating I stopped to examine myself in the large mirror. I didn't look different, and my body didn't feel any differently than it had an hour ago before knowing the truth, but I felt nauseous and paused for a moment, waiting to see if I would be sick again. I'd gotten sick every morning for the past week, and I had been so busy at the library I'd failed to notice my missing period. I couldn't remember how long it'd been since I'd had one.

* * *

A few days later found me scurrying throughout the apartment; my bare feet patting from ceramic tile to hardwood and back as I ran around straightening up and watching the pie baking in the oven. Edward would be home any minute and I was nervous. I had kept the pregnancy to myself for nearly a week, wanting to wait until he was home to tell him while also buying some time to figure out how I was going to broach the subject.

All my worry disappeared for a brief and beautiful moment when I heard the soft ping of the elevator and turned to see from my place in the kitchen. The doors slid open and there he was. Black cargo pants and boots, a fitted black tshirt, and that cocky grin that became wicked when his golden eyes zeroed in on me. I found myself breathless and rooted where I stood, realizing in that moment how desperately I'd missed him. He set his large canvas bag down before sauntering over to me and taking my hand. He planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Hey you."

"Hi." I breathed out, snaking my arms around him to bury my face in his shoulder as he held me. His crisp and earthy sent was so comforting; I hadn't washed his pillowcase since before he left just so I'd be able to smell him every night. He pulled back to look at me.

"I'm starving, food please?" He asked. I giggled in response and nodded, moving to take the pie from the oven and I asked him how his flight was.

An hour later we'd finished eating and were curled up together on the sofa enjoying each others company. Ed told me a little bit about the mission and what countries he was in, and I filled him in on what work I'd been doing with the exhibit curators at the library. It was heaven just being together again, Hulu providing low background noise and me laughing at Ed's absurd impersonation of a cranky Mustang busting his balls for taking longer than expected to finish the mission.

'Tell him now.' A tiny voice said. I set my glass of water down on the side table and looked back at him, his gaze fixated on the flatscreen as he grinned at John Stewart once again making politics a laughing matter. I opened my mouth to speak only to have my words catch in my throat. I couldn't ruin this. I knew what his reaction would be, and it would be a giant fight. He would be angry and scared, and beyond stressed out. I didn't want to rob him of his peace the moment he got home. I knew I had to tell him, but I just couldn't get it out. A few minutes passed and he stood from the sofa pulling me up with him towards the bedroom.

"I would love to take full advantage of you," he said with a suggestive wag of his eyebrows, earning a laugh from me, "but I'm jet-lagged beyond belief. I'm going to bed."

I nodded in understanding and stood on tip-toes to plant a soft kiss on his mouth. He responded by sliding an arm around me and pulling me against him to give me a kiss that counted, deep and full with fireworks shooting off in all directions in my belly. It broke my heart, because I still had to tell him and I was running out of time; I knew I needed to make a decision about wether or not to keep it. But I would delay the inevitable storm for one more day.

* * *

I awoke the next day and rolled over to him sitting up in bed with coffee and his iPad, looking domestically adorable.

"Good morning." He said as he slid a flesh finger up the screen, scrolling through the pages of the New York Times.

"Morning. How long have you been up?"

"Since 4:30. My clock's all over the place. But the good news is..." He set down his iPad and coffee on the nightstand and turned back to hover over me as he slid a hand up my side. "...I'm ready to take advantage of you."

I couldn't help laughing happily as he descended on top of me to playfully attack my neck as my arms went around him. His warm mouth on my skin after being away for so long was like a feast after days of fasting. The feel of taught muscles in his back began to very slowly wind the coils in my lower belly as he kissed me, and I felt his hands slide under my shirt. His thumb softly ran over my nipple earning a gasp from me and he grinned, savoring my reaction to such a small and simple touch before kissing me again and pushing his hot tongue past my lips. I welcomed it happily, and laced my fingers into his long and wild hair as his hand shifted from my breast to slide lower …lower …before softly touching the black lacy edge of my undies as his mouth returned to my throat. Warm fingers slipped under fabric and passed themselves over my wetness, and the moment he dove in I felt my stomach roll and I froze.

"Omigod." I murmured as my fingers flew to my mouth. I felt him grin against my neck.

"I know baby-"

"-No. Get off. Omigod. Get off, get off!" I pushed him back and scrambled out of bed to make a bee-line for the bathroom, having barely enough time to slam the door behind me before I pulled back my hair and vomited into the toilet. After retching twice I paused, breathing deeply and waiting for the nausea to pass before I slowly got to my feet and moved to the sink to brush my teeth. I was fighting back the nervous panic growing in my chest and swishing my foamy toothbrush over every inch inside my mouth when I heard soft knocking and the door slowly cracked open.

"Win? You okay?" He peered in through the gap in the door and I nodded, my eyes cast down at the sink as I continued brushing. The door swung wide and he stood next to me with the stoic, analytical look he got when he was trying to figure something out without asking questions. I spat and rinsed, and wiped my mouth on a hand towel before shuddering and turning to him.

"Sorry." I said, still unable to meet his eyes.

"Don't be. You're obviously not feeling well, but that's kinda scary because you don't get sick, right?"

I nodded slowly. Shit. He was right, I'd never been ill in my entire life. The only time I ever got sick was from the side effects of the medical experiments and those all went away in a matter of hours. My body had a perfect immune system and destroyed any disease entering my blood, so falling ill on my own would mean something was very wrong. I looked up at Ed and was met with palpable anxiety. Sure he was beautifully composed as usual, but I could see the underlying flicker of concern in his gaze. He gathered me to him and I clutched the fabric of his tshirt in my hand, feeling his increased heart rate thumping under my palm. He was afraid for me.

"Let's get you downstairs to the hospital." He took my hand and started to gently pull me along with him into the bedroom, but I stopped him.

"No, Ed. It's ...it's not what you think. I'm not sick." My heart smashed against my ribcage frantically. This was it, I had to tell him. He shot me an incredulous look.

"Of course you are. You don't have to be embarrassed babe, it happens to everyone. Did you eat something bad maybe?"

I pulled in a shaky breath and stepped to him, settling my hands on his strong arms. I bit my lip in frustration and fixed my eyes on his chest and it came out an exhaled whisper.

"Edward I'm pregnant."

Nothing. He remained rigid and unblinking, for a moment I thought he might've stopped breathing. But then muscles shifted, and he stepped backward, out of my grasp and my arms fell limp to my sides. That razor-sharp glare was all I could see. It was angry, wild, and accusatory.

"How could you let this happen?" He spat. My response died in my throat from utter shock. I knew he'd be angry, but I wasn't expecting this. I found my voice again and said,

"I didn't do this by myself you know, it was an accident-"

"-YOU forgot to take your fucking pill!" He hollered. Oh no. Oh HELL NO. My blood boiled.

"You fucked me without a condom!" I shot back. He raked his hands through his hair and looked like he was doing everything in his power to not blow his brains out.

"Why didn't you get the morning after pill?!"

"I did you jackass but its not a foolproof plan!"

My fists clenched as I watched him disappear into the closet and reemerge dressed in dark pants and a different tshirt and I followed him as he stormed out to the great room, but halted when I saw him pulling his boots on as he shook his head. I didn't know if it was from disbelief or disgust, and it became hard to breathe as I watched him pull a jacket on and grab his wallet and metro card off the kitchen island. I bounded up to him.

"Where are you going?!" I touched his arm but he instantly ripped away from me as though I were scalding hot and he glared at me.

"I never wanted this. I don't want this and you knew that. I've never asked you for anything. I never ask you for a single fucking thing, this was the ONE THING I asked you to make sure never became an issue and you couldn't even do that!"

Tears brimmed in my eyes and his feral glare began to swim into obscurity before me.

"Ed please..."

"Don't you dare!" He roared. "Don't you dare turn on the tears and make me feel bad Winry! I'm allowed to be fucking pissed about this!"

"You're not allowed to act like it's all my fault!" I wailed. I'd never been more angry at him in my life. I hated that I was someone who cried out of anger instead of lashing out or being aggressive like stronger women. I wished I was more like Riza, who could send Ed away with his tail between his legs with one fierce look. His brow furrowed and I could see the muscles working in his clenched jaw. He finally turned and shoved the stairwell door open, and without so much as a backward glance at me he said,

"Don't follow me."

* * *

I awoke in the middle of the night to the elevator announcing itself followed by heavy, uneven footfalls on the wooden floors. His steps were sloppy, and I could only assume that meant he'd been drinking. I scowled and wrapped my arms tighter around my pillow, curling myself further under the covers. The angry tears I'd sniffled here and there throughout the day gave way to full, unladylike sobs of rage when I finally crawled into bed at 2:30am feeling exhausted and pathetic for waiting all day and night for him. It was nearly 5 now, and fury still burned in my chest as I listened to him drop his boots and jacket to the floor before ridding himself of his shirt and pants. I shut my eyes again and pretended to be asleep as the mattress dipped from the added weight; I was too angry to talk. I felt him crawl up to his pillow and his usual crisp, earthy smell that I loved so much was tarnished by the hoppy scent of beer, which I loathed. He lied there for a moment, and I listened to his breathing even out. I thought for sure he'd fallen asleep, but was taken by surprise when I felt his fingers brush the hair away from my face. He sighed, and I felt warm lips press themselves to my cheek.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open the next day to the sight of him passed out next to me in bed with deep shadows under his eyes and his skin shiny from sweating out the alcohol. I slipped out from under the sheets and shuffled into the kitchen for coffee and found flowers on the kitchen island. A large bouquet of pink roses, bound in a simple wrap-around of twine and accented by intermittent sprays of delicate baby's breath. My heart squeezed as I picked them up and gently rubbed a feather-soft petal between my fingers. They smelled even better than they looked. I wasn't panicked that he would leave me forever; I knew Ed well enough to know he wouldn't just cut and run, but I still had every right to be hurt by his reaction. It wasn't like I wanted this to happen either, I was just glad that it seemed he wanted to make it right. I released the roses from their binding and snipped the ends with scissors before finding a vase and submerging them in tepid water. I set them back on the island and arranged them carefully, admiring the gradient pink that bled from a saturated fuchsia at the base of each half-bloomed bud to light baby pink at the tips. Where the hell did he find such beauty in Manhattan at 4am?

As I brewed myself some decaf and rubbed the sleep from my eyes I placed on hand on my stomach and weighed the options. Before this I had been very much afraid of motherhood for many reasons, and I'd always considered myself a pro-choice individual simply from a women's rights standpoint. I'd spent my entire life hearing doctors tell me what I can and can't do with my body, I wasn't going to allow them to make this decision for me too. I'd always told myself that if I ever got pregnant before I was ready that I wouldn't keep it. But when I fell in love with Edward, a new voice arose in the back of my mind. A quiet but unwavering one that when presented with the thought of not keeping an unborn child, would pipe up and say 'this time is different.' I knew wholeheartedly, without a shadow of hesitation, that I could never abort this child for one very big reason: It was Edward's. This child was something Ed and I created together. I could never throw that away, no matter how afraid of parenthood either of us might be. That realization squeezed my heart horribly with fear of the unknown. Could Edward get on board with being a father? I wouldn't force him to be in the child's life if he didn't want to be, but I knew I was facing the possibility that if Edward truly didn't want this, our relationship would be over. I would leave and be a mother to our child on my own if I had to, because even though parenthood terrified me, it hit me in that moment that I wanted to have Edward's children. It was barely a blip on the radar, and I already loved the damn thing because I loved Ed so much. I stirred creamer into my coffee and held it under my nose to breathe in the wonderful aroma, only to feel my stomach flip again and I set the mug down on the counter hard and pulled my hair back to vomit in the sink. It was time to switch to tea.

* * *

A couple hours passed during which I'd showered and dressed and called the Central Hospital to make an appointment since I had yet to see the doctor. I decided to visit the drugstore down the street and picked up some prenatal vitamins to get myself started until I could see my doctors a few days later. I told the secretary it was just for a checkup; I knew if I mentioned pregnancy they would drop everything and rush me to the front of the line and I didn't want special treatment over their other patients. I also didn't want them telling Roy, whom they were obligated to send all test results to seeing how he was in charge of my involvement with Central's medical science team. I would have to convince them to conveniently leave my pregnancy out of the paperwork so that Edward and I could tell people ourselves, that is, if Edward was on board with me keeping it.

The elevator doors opened and I entered our home again to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and stopped in my tracks. Edward sat at the kitchen island with his iPad and a steaming mug halfway to his mouth when he saw me falter. I put my hand on my stomach and breathed slowly, waiting for the nausea to pass as he paused and watched me carefully.

"Do you need help?" He asked. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed in again before saying,

"It's the coffee smell. Can we open a window?" Edward promptly set his mug down and crossed the room to take my hand and lead me to the sofa before opening the sliding glass door that lead to the small balcony. My head instantly cleared as cool spring air washed over my skin. I heard him pour his coffee down the sink and I felt a little guilty before remembering that I was supposed to be mad at him as he came over and sat on the coffee table in front of me with his elbows on his knees and mismatched fingers steepled in front of his mouth. I could see the wheels turning in his head like a poker player considering his next move.

"I'm sorry for yesterday. I was in shock. I still am." He said carefully. "How far along are you?"

"I don't know for sure, I haven't been to the doctor yet."

"Why not?" He asked, sitting up in alarm.

"I wanted to wait for you."

He softened fractionally at this, realizing it made sense. He drummed his fingers together as he thought, flesh and steel meeting each other in synchronized timing while his unseeing eyes scanned the floor before looking back at me.

"I'm not ready for this." He stated gravely. The finality of his tone slammed into me hard and I feared the worst, only I wasn't sure what the worst thing would actually be: him asking me to abort or him leaving me to raise a child alone.

"I'm not either." I said with shaky words. "But… I'm going to do it anyway." I found a stronger voice and looked back at him to continue, "I know we didn't plan for this, and I'm not going to force you into it if you truly can't do it. I understand why you wouldn't want to have a child, but I… I just can't get rid of it. It's yours. It's a part of you. Please don't ask me to—"

His hand on mine stopped me.

"Winry I would never ask you to do that for me. It's not my choice it's yours." Wide, golden eyes swallowed me with their beauty as I looked back at him, suddenly feeling even more hopeless.

"But you don't want this." I said as I swallowed hard and pushed my words out through a tightening throat. "I can't force you… I… I have to leave. I'll move out. You don't have to be a part of this, I swear I won't be mad. I'll be fine, really."

Ed shot me an incredulous look.

"Are you crazy? You think I'd just leave you?" He asked, moving to take my hands in his as he settled next to me on the sofa. "I'm freaking out about this, but I'm not gonna abandon you and I'm not gonna force you into anything. This is your decision Winry, frankly I don't care. The only thing I know for sure is that I want you in my life."

His words sat stale on my mind. It definitely wasn't the happy tearful 'we're having a baby' moment everyone pictured for themselves. I wasn't expecting him to magically wake up that morning and be excited about it all of a sudden, but I guess I'd been hoping for a better reaction than 'I don't care'. It left me in an awful spot of knowing that he was only doing this for me. He wasn't even doing it for the sake of the baby. It was all for me. Fuck. This man, who made it extremely clear to me that he never wanted children, was suddenly forcing himself to get on board with raising one because it would mean we could stay together. What the hell would happen when I started gaining weight? What about the mood swings? What about when I'd start waking up at crazy hours of the night and asking him to go out and get me weird shit like pork rinds and cheese whiz? Its easier for soon-to-be fathers to be accepting of those things because hey, their baby is on the way and they're excited about it.

Ed wanted nothing to do with it. He didn't care about a baby, he only cared about me. But what would happen after the baby is born and we're up all night with feedings and the kid is screaming its head off and we're not getting any sleep? He's gonna start caring then. What about when the baby takes up all our spare time and we can't go out and be social with our friends like we usually do? He'll start caring. And sex? Might as well kiss that goodbye because we're gonna be so exhausted and so busy all the time between work and the baby, I won't be thinking about so much as a hand-job. Ed will absolutely care about having a kid when all the cushy comfortable things he loves go flying out the window. I feared he would not only grow to resent me for keeping the baby, but he would grow to resent the child itself. What kind of home was I preparing this child for? A home where one parent couldn't care if it were here or gone? A home with a parent with an incredibly dangerous job and mental health issues who didn't adjust to change very well? Was I really so self-indulgent to bring a child into this simply because it's Edwards? Edward didn't even want it.

I felt a headache coming on and I became misty eyed as I put my hand on my stomach again. I hated this. I hated how our already complicated life had found a way to become even more complicated. We were supposed to be planning a wedding and a honeymoon. I thought the following months would be filled with me visiting florists and trying on wedding gowns, not shopping for strollers and putting together cribs. He must've noticed my furrowed brow or maybe it was the way my eyes were fixed on the floor but cool steel fingertips touched my cheek coaxing me to look back at him.

"I love you. That hasn't changed." He implored as he gave my hand a squeeze. "What do you want to do about this?"

His golden eyes were alert as always but I could tell he was at ease, so different from the day before and I wondered what he had done or who he had talked to that got him to this state.

"I can think of a million reasons why I shouldn't, but I'd like to keep it. It's ours. We made this together. I want us to be a family, but only if you're on board. Do you want to do this with me?"

"I'll be honest, it's not ideal. But I love you, and I know I would love our kid. That's what scares me so much. I have a hard enough time keeping you safe, how the hell do we live this life with a baby?" He asked with a wary look. I know he was thinking about Nina, and how even a decade later he still felt her death was a result of his incompetence. I brushed a strand of hair from his eyes not really knowing what to say.

"There's no way to know. There's never a good time to have a kid, we'll just have to take it one day at a time and make it up as we go along. But like I said, I'm not forcing you into this."

"I'm not going to just let you raise our kid alone. That's ridiculous." He said before pulling me into a hug. "We're in this together."

It was music to my ears as I returned his embrace, my frightened heart starting to bloom knowing that we could be a family, thinking about how one day soon these wooden floors would have the pitter-patter of little footsteps running up and down the hall.

* * *

A/N: The intention of this short story is not to make any political statements, nor to push any opinions of my own onto others, I simply wanted to create a plot line for the Perfect Blood AU showing conflict that isn't a direct result of Ed's baggage. Its my goal to churn out original material that we haven't seen a million times over, and I intend to do that here. The next chapter is completed and will be uploaded in a few days. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing, and for sticking it out through the dry spell. Your patience will be rewarded with more than just this story, because I've been writing a lot since i've been away.


	2. Chapter 2

"Of course I'll hurt you. Of course you'll hurt me. Of course  
we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence.  
To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become  
presence, means accepting the risk of absence."

-The Little Prince

* * *

Several days passed and found Edward and myself at Central Hospital sitting in the office of my obgyn with her and my normal troupe of specialists. We'd gotten a wide range of reactions as we them the news, and I was beginning to wonder if they were more concerned about what a pregnancy would mean for someone with a medical situation like mine, or if they were just completely shocked that Edward Elric would have offspring. There were people who never believed he'd function normally, let alone get engaged and start a family. My lack of energy, headaches, and difficulty sleeping had not changed, while I continued to not only vomit in the mornings but pretty much all day everyday. Any and all strong smells affected me in the worst ways. I couldn't wear perfume, we switched out the shower gel for plain Dove soap, coffee wasn't allowed in the apartment. I didn't cook any meals and we quickly learned that any aromatic delivery options weren't helping either. One day I came home to Ed hitting a joint on the balcony -occasional small doses of marijuana helped with his PTSD, and the smell hit me so hard that I couldn't even make it to the kitchen sink. My stomach muscles ached almost around the clock from contracting violently so many times every day, and I was exhausted. I couldn't imagine how I was going to get through 9 months of this.

"The sickness will ease up." My doctor said. "Its still early, you're only about 9 weeks in. In the meantime just take it easy and consider caffeine-free peppermint tea to help with the nausea and muscle aches. What are you doing about food if everything with a smell bothers you?"

"We've been eating super clean. I hate it." I said, glancing at Ed. I knew clean eating was what he'd prefer all the time, but as for me, I wanted burgers and pizza dammit. "Veggies, brown rice and quinoa. We've been ordering rotisserie chickens from Whole Foods, and I've been able to keep watermelon down, but that's about it really."

My doctors all glanced at each other and my gyno, Dr. Beatrice Miller, scribbled a few notes and looked back at us.

"We need to find a way to supplement your nutrition. You're eating for two now and you've got holes in your diet. I'm going to write you a shopping list of things to get. In the meantime we'd like to see you every few days."

Edward and I exchanged surprised looks.

"That seems like a lot." He said.

"Well, we've never seen someone with Perfect Blood carry a child before. We want to monitor her very closely. Honestly, it would have been better if you'd talked to us before deciding to do this, Winry." She scolded.

To be clear, I never really liked my gynecologist.

Ed saw me stand and open my mouth to verbally slug her and took my hand, coaxing me back into my chair as he said, "Well it was an accident so …yea there's that. Okay so can we go now?" I could tell he was mildly irritated with the doctor as well, and Dr. Miller handed me my new food shopping list and stood to show us out of her office.

* * *

That night I sat upright in our bed with a cup of peppermint tea -the only thing that seemed to be helping my nausea, and happily breathed in the aroma. I was so blissfully thankful there was something that finally soothed my suffering. I had closed myself in with only a low-wattage bedside lamp for illumination to calm myself and I gave myself some much needed time to unwind. A moment later the door slowly cracked open and Edward slid in.

"Hey." He said, his brilliant eyes cut through the low light like fireflies at twilight as he came over to sit on the bed's edge beside me. "How's it going in here?"

"Better, finally." I said with an elated sigh. We'd arrived home after grocery shopping and I was feeling more run down than usual, and when we bumped into Jean Havoc on Central HQ's main floor I could smell the cigarette smoke on him and I barely made it home before getting violently sick in the kitchen sink yet again. It had been a good hour since then. Edward reached up a flesh hand to feel my head for signs of fever, but seemed relieved a moment later when his hand moved to tuck my hair behind my ear.

"Are you up for eating something?" He asked. I clutched my tea close and grimaced a little. In truth I was hungry, but I was so afraid to try and eat anything because I'd had so much trouble keeping food down.

"Please babe, you have to eat something. You haven't eaten all day." I knew he was right, and asked if he wouldn't mind making me some toast with peanut butter. When the bedroom door shut behind him I smoothed my hand over my belly. Not much 'belly' there yet, but I knew there would be soon enough. It was hard for me to picture Edward as a father, and I knew it was something he was likely blocking out due to stress and the inability to change anything, but I found myself silently repeating in my mind,

' _Things will get better, things will get better.'_

* * *

Another week passed faster than I knew, and my sickness had largely subsided. Nausea and dizziness still found a way into my daily life, but I wasn't running for the sink like before and every doctors appointment showed that while I was queasy, I was healthy. There was a lot of peppermint tea in the house. I had finally began to show first signs of a growing bump; it was very small, a barely protruding curvature in my lower abdomen, but a bump none the less. The day I'd actually stepped back and noticed it, I thought that maybe Edward would be excited.

He was not. We hadn't had sex due to my shaky constitution and when I revealed my slow-changing form to him his reaction was less happy excitement and more factual observation and indifference. It didn't exactly raise my spirits. He hadn't come with me to my two previous ultrasounds, and never once asked to see a sonogram, and as the evidence of his distaste for parenthood mounted I handled it the best way I knew how; by burying my head in the sand.

I had thrown myself into my work at the library since much of my energy had miraculously returned, and with my newfound motivation to not think about the biggest problem in my life I had also dove headfirst into planning our wedding. We'd thought of hiring a planner at first, but I quickly talked Ed out of it saying how I loved the creative opportunity. In all honesty, it was just a distraction. But it wasn't until I found myself in the waiting room at the doctors office a week later that the depressing nature of it all truly started to settle in. I was having yet another ultrasound to monitor my unusual body and how it was performing while creating a new life, and just like before I sat in the waiting room without Edward. I told myself it was because he was working, and flipped through the pages of a bridal magazine only half-interested when my eyes settled on the image of a woman in a long white gown. The kind of gown I'd always envisioned myself wearing on such a special day. I looked down at my little bump and angrily told myself to kiss that gown goodbye, kiss your original wedding date goodbye, kiss your honeymoon goodbye. At the rate I was going, by the time this was all over I might be saying sayonara to my future husband as well, because I wasn't going to raise a child in a home with a disinterested parent. I would rather my child be loved whole heartedly by a single parent than expose it everyday to a father who couldn't love it.

' _What the fuck am I planning a wedding for?_ ' I thought to myself. I brushed a tear away and stood to leave just as my name was called, redirecting me to walk down the hall with the nurse as my heart fell to my feet and my fingers toyed with the ring on my left hand that I was suddenly tempted to rip off and throw away.

An hour later I scuffed my feet as I walked across Central on my way back to HQ to head home with a sour mood and nausea once again building slowly in my core. After repeatedly telling the annoying Dr. Miller that I didn't want to take home a picture of the sonogram, my words were completely laughed off and the grainy image of our fetus was forced into my hands as I was ushered out of the hospital. I didn't want to try showing Edward again only to get a lack-luster response, or even worse the bland look of near repulsion he sported the very first time I'd shown him a sonogram. I knew he was putting on a brave face for me most of the time, bringing me fresh roses every few days to keep me smiling, but I was losing hope. I crumpled the photo in my hands and threw it in a nearby trashcan as I crossed the courtyard and made my way towards the building's western entrance. I decided to pop in on Ed at work, hoping that maybe a hug and a smile would be enough to lift my spirits a little and distract me from the problem at hand. I wasn't entirely sure where he was, so I took my time wandering the building in silent search of him, getting no results from the gym, the armory, the main floor where Mustang's office was located, or the shooting range. When Edward wasn't on missions he spent his time training less experienced soldiers in combat, and running skill drills with the very few soldiers every year who elected to take the State Alchemist Qualification Assessment. It was rare that anyone made the cut.

I waved a little hello to Maes Hughes and Vato Falman as I entered the tactical field control room. The tactical field was a technological achievement in military training unlike any other. Central had outfitted an underground space about the size of an airplane hangar into an ever-changing land of combat threats. It was one part robotics with machine guns 'firing' on you at a moment's notice and airborne drones dropping 'bombs' as you weaved your way through obstacles while simultaneously cutting down the android 'enemy', and another part virtual reality where technology would have you feel the environment around you as you smelled the smoke, felt the heat of the blasts around you, and a radio frequency in your ear would remind you to 'watch for trip wires'. The control room was a small enclosure suspended high above the tactical field on a catwalk, and was lined with control panels that operated the field's every move. Hughes and Falman were absorbed in the operation the same way a 10 year-old boy would be absorbed in a first-person shooter on Xbox, and I looked out through the large panes of glass and down onto the field. There were several soldiers running tactical drills, but none caught my attention until one sprang out from behind a wall much faster than his comrades and lodged bullets in each one of the 3 droids closing in on him. When they jolted unnaturally and shot sparks before falling, the solder holstered his weapon and pulled the black helmet and VR visor from his head. I knew all along that it was Edward from the way he moved. I watched his mouth move as he spoke into the radio on his wristband looking relaxed and confident, before his face went blank and he jumped back suddenly. He froze for a moment, and I watched him throw down his helmet in frustration and curse loudly.

"You stepped on a land mine, didn't you?" Hughes said into his head set with a smug grin. He laughed a moment later and I watched Edward exit the tactical field and make his way toward the stairs to the catwalk, so I waved by to Hughes and Falman and went to meet him halfway. The good feelings I thought I'd might get coming here were quickly smothered with the realization that losing Ed was really that easy. He was a master of his craft, someone that all who attempted to become a State Alchemist would have to live up to, and yet I'd just watched him 'die' for simply taking one wrong step. I mean sure, I could step off the curb one day while not paying attention and get run over by the M11 bus, but that would be like divine intervention. That would just be 'my time'. Edward was constantly outrunning death. His list of enemies ran longer than my list of donuts I liked (which were all of them). How could I drag a child into this nightmarish world? It was bad enough that I'd sunk myself into it willingly, and I began to fill with dread as I realized that raising a child in this death-trap existence would be like smoking in a car with the kid in the backseat. Reckless. Irresponsible. Unfair.

Suddenly I didn't want Ed to see me, I wanted to hurry home and put my face in a pillow and cry. I wanted to stand in the shower under the scalding water and never come out. I had dreamed of a happy life with Edward, and that dream was being crushed by the one thing that usually made dreams come true for most couples. I slowed my steps on the catwalk and he continued toward me, noticing my sudden change in expression.

"Hey." He said as he planted a kiss on my cheek. "What brings you here? Everything go okay at the doctors?"

I nodded numbly and responded that I'd just wanted to say hi. He was about to respond when Falman's voice carried from the control room, telling Ed to come up and review the footage of his drill. My hand was lovingly squeezed in his as he quickly kissed me again before saying "gotta go, babe" and he hurried off to keep working. I was slightly off-put, but also relieved as I made my way down the steps to the ground and exited the tactical field through the halls leading back to the elevators. I was feeling nauseous again as well as exhausted, and couldn't wait for a cup of tea.

When I entered our apartment 10 minutes later, my exhaustion had increased ten fold and I decided to skip the tea and head straight for bed. It was only 5pm but I knew I'd sleep through the night anyway. I stripped of my clothes except for my panties and t-shirt and climbed into bed as text came from Edward saying he'd be working late tonight. I could barely keep my eyes open as I turned out the light and sleep claimed me.

* * *

Sunlight poured in through the windows, shining brightly as birds sang of the happy weather that beamed on a scene far from happy: us fighting again. It was happening more and more, and every fight was a fresh twist of the knife in my heart telling me that Edward wasn't ready for this. But I'd sheltered myself under denial until his bags were packed at the elevator; one full of weapons, the other full of clothes. He wasn't leaving on a mission, he was just leaving. Leaving me. Leaving our unborn child. I screamed, I cried, I pleaded, he hollered back. It was hopeless. When he turned to finally leave, I grabbed a fistful of his shirt desperately and asked the one question he hadn't answered; the one thing I still didn't understand. Why was he so angry? So _bitter_? It was with grim severity in his eyes when he grabbed my shoulders and shook me to get my attention that he bore his animalistic gaze into me and reduced his voice to a terrifying whisper,

"Because you're going to die."

I sat up in a cold sweat, gasping for air as I ran a hand through my sweat-dampened hair and placed the other on my stomach, now very queasy with muscles contracted from stress. My entire body was rigid. The earliest light of dawn barely broke on the horizon, giving a soft periwinkle glow to the city outside. The bed remained empty next to me, Edward still hadn't come home from work leading me to believe he probably passed out cold on the panel in the tactical control room. It wouldn't be the first time. As I regained my wits, I realized I was fighting to return my breathing to normal and couldn't make my muscles relax. I knew I was having an anxiety attack from the dream and all the stress, and the increasing nausea wasn't helping. I needed to loosen my muscles which were steadily tightening in my back and stomach, and slid from the bed to start the shower. Steam fogged the glass stall as I shed the rest of my clothes and stepped into the warmth, letting it pour over me.

 _'This will bring you back.'_ I reminded myself. _'You always feel like a new person after a shower.'_

So why was I struggling to stand? I found myself hunching forward slightly with my hand on the tiled wall, breathing heavier by the minute it seemed. Dammit, I needed to call Ed. I rolled my eyes at my own helplessness, irritated that I was having this panic attack and frustrated that I would probably wind up sitting on the shower stall floor until Ed could come help me because I was so damn exhausted. I reached to shut the water off when blinding pain seared through me, halting me in my tracks. As quickly as it sliced through me, it stopped. But my heart rate increased none-the-less, fearing what it could've been. I didn't have much time to ponder before being smashed into with another blinding pain, deep in my lower abdomen. It weakened my knees and I cried out, nearly dropping to the ground. Breathing was much more difficult now, and I was freezing despite the bathroom being full of hot steam. Fear spiked in my heart again as the pain slowly softened, only to turn around and steadily build pressure in my belly, a vice grip pulling and twisting more and more with each passing second. The pain was unlike anything I'd ever felt in my life, a torturous rubber band being stretched to the limit and held there only to relax for a few seconds before being slowly stretched again, an inch further each time.

' _Ed, I have to call Ed.'_ I silently told myself as I staggered from the bathroom with the water still running. I managed to pull a towel around my wet body despite my arms being suddenly made of lead, and found myself sweating profusely from heat, even though I'd just been freezing cold a few moments before. The walk from the bedroom down the hall to the great room was normally only a handful of strides, but in that moment seemed the journey of a thousand miles. My energy seemed to pour out of me in each bead of sweat and water that slipped off my skin and onto the hardwood floors. I breathed hard and fought on, telling myself that once I called Ed to come home I could lie down and regain my strength and all would be fine. I just needed this anxiety to pass, I needed these muscles to unclench themselves.

My uncoordinated footsteps got me down the hall and to the kitchen, and I looked around the apartment in the dawn's soft glow for my cell phone, wondering why it was becoming hard to hear my wet feet patting on the floor. Why my breathing sounded so muffled in my head. I was losing my hearing, and I then knew that this couldn't be an ordinary panic attack. Pain ripped through me again rooting me where I stood, and I dropped to my knee for a moment to catch my breath. Air raged in and out of my lungs as though I'd run a marathon, and I rested my hand on my thigh for a moment before wondering why my skin was still wet despite having a towel on. Streams of red flowed down between my legs to begin pooling on the floor beneath me, a new pattern from the smeared crimson foot prints that followed me down the hall. My hand was stained the same vermillion as I pushed myself to my feet, now officially terrified of whatever was happening to me and I stepped toward the kitchen island when I spotted it: my cell phone. I reached out toward my destination and took a heavy step as the grueling pain continued to bowl me over, sending fear to spike in my heart yet again.

Fuzzy white splotches danced in front of my eyes. Appearing then fading away before reappearing in a different place, exploding in size before desolving like fireworks. The spots rearranged and grew as the muscles in my belly tightened violently and before I could reach where my phone was, my vision had whited out completely. Panic gripped me horribly as I felt around frantically with one blood-smeared arm out in front of me, the other clutching my towel loosely around me to my chest. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see, I could barely stand and it had dawned on me in that moment that I could no longer utter a sound besides a miserable agonized whimper, so calling Edward would do me no good even if I could find my phone. My new objective had to be the panic button under the island surface that jutted out where the bar stools were.

Ed had it installed after all the business with Pit Carlitano as another measure to keep me safe, and once pushed would send out a signal to not only Ed's cell, but to Mustang, Riza, Havoc, and Hughes so that whoever was closest could run to help. Something was wrong, horribly wrong, and I felt along the underside of the granite countertop with a shaking hand trying to find the button, to no avail. My hand suddenly surged through thin air, signaling my arrival at he end of the island and I swung around to feel along the counters surface for my phone. I could use Siri to call 911. My hand connected with something hard, which quickly gave way and a second later shook the floor boards with a heavy thud and sent cold wetness splashing across my feet and legs. Having been robbed of 3 out of 5 senses, I didn't know what it was until I stepped forward and yelped, having sliced my foot on broken glass. My stomach twisted violently again, and I could no longer bear the pain as the last drops of energy left me and my legs gave out, crashing me to the floor and driving shards of broken glass into my skin. The slicing of my flesh was almost a welcome sensation compared to the vicious shredding of my inner workings, and as I lay helpless on the floor I felt tears well behind my blinded, unseeing eyes. No one would be here to help me. No one would save me from this agony because I couldn't call for help. I would die here, alone.

Suspended in the white abyss of my quickly numbing mind, sound, sight, and strength having abandoned me, my only companions where touch and taste. A shard of glass grazed my lip, drawing the blood that I tasted on my tongue. My body shook from the frigid water pooling under me and mixing with my free-flowing blood, yet the soft scent of roses washed over me with the loose petals from the obliterated blooms now littered across the floor around me. Even those senses began to fail me as my mind and body surrendered to the cold clutches of death, my last memory being uneven vibrating thuds across the floor behind me.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing. More Soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Let us love,

since that is all our hearts

were made for.

-St. Therese de Lisieux

* * *

Soft beeping repeated at a regular interval, slowly pulling me from the comfortable darkness into stark white reality. My eyes opened and memories of the last time I woke up in the hospital flooded back to me. I didn't relive them for long; my eyes found Edward and Roy standing outside the large glass wall of my room, speaking to each other calmly with arms folded and brows furrowed. It wasn't until Edward's eyes caught my own that his expression brightened slightly, and he moved quickly to enter my room as Roy stayed outside, looking relieved to see me awake before leaving. Ed settled beside me on the bed and squeezed my hand.

"I… I don't know what happened to me…" I said quietly, taking in the bandages running up one of my arms.

"Do you remember anything?" He asked. I thought for a moment, and the events flashed before me. The shower, the pain, the exhaustion, the blood.

"I blacked out. I've never felt pain like that in my life and …oh my god, the baby…" I said, suddenly remembering. I searched his serious gaze, and his eyes fell.

"Win… it's gone…" His thumb smoothed over my knuckles as my mind worked to catch up. Gone? Gone how?

"I don't understand?" He looked back at me with a new softness in his typically hard eyes.

"Babe, you miscarried. That's what happened."

I couldn't move. I had to force myself to breathe, and he must've sensed it because he smoothed metal fingers through my hair to comfort me. As upset as I was though… I didn't feel the need to cry. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel.

"I'm so sorry Winry. For everything. " He said to me. I could tell he meant it, his voice was raw. He was hurting too.

"You're sad?" I asked, obviously confused. He didn't want a kid in the first place.

"Yea. Mostly I was worried about you. The shock of walking in and finding you like that…" He said, and I remembered then how I'd knocked over the vase, shattering on the floor and sending the roses flying all over before I collapsed onto it. I remembered the smell of the flowers and the stench of blood. "…I think it took a year off my life."

Just then the door opened again and my doctors filed in, four of them standing at the foot of my bed in a group with charts in their hands and grave expressions. I shifted over slightly in bed so Edward could sit next to me, which he did and his arm slid around me protectively as we listened to the doctors elaborate.

"We've been running tests, to see what might've caused the miscarriage." My obgyn said, "It's your body Winry. Its …a hostile and inhabitable enviornment."

I found myself rendered speechless, simply not knowing how I should respond. Edward did it for me.

"So what percentage does she have of getting pregnant?" The doctors shook their heads sternly.

"No, its not getting pregnant thats the problem, its creating a child. Winry, your blood destroys anything entering your system that could potentially harm you. Your blood cells must've seen the growing fetus as a threat. We feel that if you get pregnant again we'll only be back in this same position, and we don't want to see that happen. It could've cost you your life if Edward didn't find you when he did, you lost a lot of blood."

"So… I can't have a child? There's no chance?" I quaked. My obgyn crossed her arms and sent me a look reminiscent of a mother scolding her child.

"It would be pointless Winry. Your body will destroy any embryo it grows, and it may very well kill you in the process. Don't make this mistake ever again."

I mentioned once before that I hated my gyno, right?

My throat tightened violently and tears welled in my eyes, blurring the image of Edward hollering at my insensitive doctors to get the hell out as he pointed to the door. I felt the wetness fall down my cheeks and I gave into my despair, knowing then that I had desperately wanted to have Edward's child, but never could. Edward quickly turned and pulled me into his arms for me to sob freely, trying anything he could to comfort me yet knowing it was impossible so he held me tightly, and softly murmured 'I love you's' to me over and over, until his voice and my tears pulled me to sleep again.

* * *

I had watched Winry like a hawk over the following days, searching her behavior carefully for signs of worsening depression. Her depression was palpable, but she didn't appear to be in a violent state towards others or herself, and for that I was thankful. She was in our room reading when Roy and Riza entered the great room from the elevator. I motioned them to come in and they sat beside each other on the sofa as I joined them, easing into a leather club chair.

"How is she today?" Riza started. Her pretty face was stoic as ever, but I could see the worry in her eyes. Winry was like a sister to her.

"I finally convinced her to eat something today. Tea and a piece of dry toast, that's all she'd have. She barely speaks a word, hardly leaves our room. She sits in the dark with one light on and just …reads. All day, all night. I think she's trying to distract herself."

"And the crying jags?" Roy asked. I shrugged my shoulders somewhat helplessly.

"Getting better maybe? I don't know, so far today she only cried once, but it was a damn good one."

The hardest part of all of this was having no one to blame. Our biggest problems usually came with someone at the root who I could throw punches at and threaten, then tell Winry everything was fine and after that, it was. But nothing could fix this. There was no one for me to scream at, no one for me to use as target practice to sate my anger. Winry had spent her whole life trying to come to grips with her condition, it had been the source of her torment and anxiety for her entire existence. We had made real strides, and I knew this would make her fall off the band wagon for sure.

"What happens now? Wedding plans delayed?" Roy said, breaking me from my thoughts. I sighed and sagged in my chair, raking a hand through my hair.

"I'm not sure. I don't know what she'll want to do now. She said she was still planning the wedding before but …I honestly haven't paid much attention to her lately." I admitted shamefully. "I should've been there for her. I didn't want kids. I still don't, and of course I was gonna step up and do the right thing but it was impossible for me to pretend to be excited. She knew that, she isn't stupid. I think she wasn't sure if she really wanted kids either, so I'm a little surprised to see her taking it this hard."

"Maybe this made her realize she really wants to be a mother after all." said Riza. Our heads all turned when we heard the soft patting of bare feet coming down the hall. Winry stood in the entryway, clad in my grey sweats that were way to big on her and pooled around her feet along with one of my white shirts. Circles curved under her eyes from inconsistent sleep, and she was frighteningly pale from lack of nutrition and not seeing the sun in days.

"Ed?" she called softly, not even noticing our company. "I'm a little hungry, is there anything to eat?"

She was finally asking for food. My heart leapt a little in my chest as I perked up and nodded, standing to walk Roy and Riza to the elevator.

"Thanks for checking in, I'll call you guys later." I said before turning to walk back to Winry as they left. Alone again, I moved to the kitchen as Winry slid onto a bar stool at the island and I opened the fridge.

"Any requests?" I asked, praying she would ask for something substantial.

"Eggs?"

My heart leapt for the second time. She wanted protein. I pulled the carton out happily along with cheese, ham and milk. She didn't know it yet, but she was getting 3 slices of cheese in her scrambled eggs because when I watched her get in the shower the night before, I'd counted her ribs and it pissed me off. When I was finished I set her meal in front of her and sat next to her, watching her eat and feeling my fear-frozen insides begin to thaw. She consumed nearly the entire plate along with a glass of 2%, and I was satisfied with that. Picking up her dishes and putting them in the sink, I made a mental note to throw some sausage in her eggs the next day when I felt her arms slither around me from behind. I paused, feeling the weight of her head resting between my shoulder blades and she spoke softly.

"I was afraid of raising a child. I still am. I don't know if motherhood is something I want. Because of our dangerous lives, it's probably not a good idea. But I loved our baby anyway because it was ours. Because it was yours. I would've taken the risk for the chance to have your child Edward. Is that selfish?" I considered her question before turning in her arms to face her and brush an errant strand of hair from her eyes.

"You're not a selfish person, Winry. You would've protected that child with your life, and so would I. Because it would have been yours. I would have loved it no matter what because it was yours." I watched yet another tear fall down her cheek and my spirits fell along with it.

"I'll never be able to give you a child. Even though I don't think I should be a mother, just knowing that I can't produce a child for you makes me feel so …inadequate." She mewed sadly. Alarm bells rang in my head and I grabbed her shoulders.

"Don't ever say that." I implored. My eyes bore into her anguished, watery sapphires and suddenly I had to stop myself from wanting to cry. None of this was her fault. It didn't make her less of a woman, less of a person, it changed nothing in my mind. I loved her. I would always love her. I pulled her into a fierce hug. "You could never be inadequate. So what if you can't have a kid, you think thats gonna make me love you less? You're my whole world, Win. You're everything."

I released her and wiped the tears from her eyes, wishing more than anything to just see her smile. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen true happiness wash over her, but I told myself to be patient. It would take time, we were making progress. In the meantime, all I could do was make her feel loved.

* * *

Another handful of days came and went, and I could tell Winry was feeling better, though I still hadn't seen her fully smile. Little twitches in the corners of her mouth, but no real smiles. I was determined to get one out of her. Reading the paper on my iPad or watching the news certainly wasn't inspiring happiness, what with all the fuckery going on in the world that I knew would eventually mean me having to step in at some point, so I turned away from technology and moved out onto the balcony for some air. The sun was bright that day, the wind was mild, and as I looked out over the bustling financial district I wracked my brain for something I could do for her. Something to make her happy. My eyes fell down the street heading uptown, and my mind's lightbulb blinked to brilliant life.

It took some convincing, but I got her out of the apartment and onto the E train, and clutched her hand tightly as we ascended the stairs to the street. She'd asked me repeatedly where we were going but I wouldn't tell her just yet, even though I knew she'd figure it out the closer we got. I'd taken her there on several dates and she always loved it. When we reached our destination on the High Line and looked out over the city, I hoped being there again would make her as happy as the first time I'd brought her. We walked the length of the 2-story suspended train tracks turned garden sanctuary hand-in-hand, and when she stopped to run her fingers over the long strands of lavender, I decided it was now or never.

"How about here?" I started, suddenly nervous for some reason. "You said you didn't know where you wanted the wedding reception to be, how about here?" She stopped and turned to me with surprised etched across her. She didn't seem turned off by it, so I kept going.

"We could hire catering from Chelsea Markets downstairs, or wherever you want, and there's plenty of room up here. You love this place in the spring. So… thoughts?"

I waited as she looked around and took it all in quietly, as though she'd never been here before, and just when I thought she wouldn't go for it, there it was. She turned to me with blue eyes shining bright, and my heart soared.

She smiled.

* * *

A/N: As usual, thank you all for your beautiful comments and compliments, reading them fills me with the same joy as falling in love and that feeling you all give me is a source of inspiration. I try my hardest to put that feeling into describable words to convey how Ed and Winry feel for one another. This short story sat on my mind for a long time, and was something I felt needed to happen for this AU. Don't worry, I'm still brainstorming what will happen for the wedding but it will take a while because I have no intentions of it being a one-shot. On a side note, I've had multiple readers PM asking me about possible fics that wouldn't be a part of the Perfect Blood universe, but I was never inspired to write one. Until now. Another AU is brewing, I've written 3 chapters and I'm very excited for you all to see it. Thank you all again for your time and attention, I'll be back soon.

-C.


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